Listening on cheap USB mini speakers: Wow this sounds great already! You got a lovely creamy type of distortion on that guitar. It's hard to get it just right and I think you got it pretty well. Just a bit of rattle while staying tight and not too biting on the ears. Very good.
Listening on cheap phones now: Mix sounds pretty damn good. The cheap phones have a more laid back treble while sporting a boosted bass response. Those clean panning fade in guitar notes are really sweet and give a nice contrast to the distorted guitar. They are not extremely forward in the mix but I can still follow the panning and decay of each note pretty comfortably. Kit is tight and sits well. Very nice melodic changes. Bass tones are well tempered in the mix. Not overly loud but lush warm and solidly satisfying.
Just in writing this I've looped this demo several dozen times. It's very pleasant to the ears.
On expensive phones now: Any mixing critique I'd give would be really minor. Like just a decibel or 2, plus or minus. The more expensive phones being more flat and "open" makes me want to boost the bottom end of the kick. Just give it a touch more beef. Yeah sorry, I just don't have any significant criticism lol. This is very good. Every element is sitting pretty comfortably and what it has to say is quite pleasant. <:3 I like it lots bro.