Some advice concerning manipulative people. Again, mostly reminding myself lessons I continually relearn. Also, hopefully encouraging others who’ve been victimized.
I’ve had many encounters with manipulators over the years. They come in many shapes, sizes and flavors. One of the primary objectives of a manipulator is to first disarm your mental defenses. One of their primary tools is to use your own emotions again you. The game: Get you in a disposition so if you become emotional over injustices inflicted upon your person, YOU look like the guilty party.
Above all else manipulators are obsessed with being clever and being in control of other people (sick).
Manipulating someone is by function an attempt to bypass their free will. Thus the nature of it is dishonest, usually malevolent and always self serving. Easily 99% of the time, the person being manipulated does NOT benefit. Manipulators are self centered. Self enthroned and often conceited. Projecting into others, a deep hatred for themselves or for what they feel they will not achieve (crab pot syndrome).
Conceited [con-ceit-ed]: Adjective. Ingeniously contrived. Holding to fantasies that falsify a discouraging reality.
Crab Mentality: In human behavior members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member who achieves success beyond the others, or halt their progress, out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings.
Some most noted attributes of manipulative people:
Sudden attitude change
Exploiting plausible deniability
Using illegitimate parallels (comparing apples to oranges)
Disproportionate Aggression (being overly aggressive without factual justification)
Denial (ignoring factual evidence)
Mob Tactics (playing people off of one another)
Though these traits are not exclusive to manipulators, at least a few will always correlate well. Along those lines manipulators can be very petty. No illogic is often bared from use. A manipulator might claim, I am manipulating people simply buy writing this article (projection).
A general example of manipulation: Lets say, a person gains your trust, then comes to you for help with barely a rough sketch for a tune. With the promise of cross promotion, you fill in the remaining 90% of the material, creating a finished product. However, upon completion, said person takes full credit for your 90% and if/when you protest, are framed as attempting to steal said person’s ideas/work. The manipulator got what they wanted, with the bonus of all guilt projected onto the victim.
You do not need to feel ashamed if you have fallen victim to these things. You are not alone and in most cases, you do NOT have to play these people’s sick games.
~Continued in part 2~